I think I'll slice my way into this blog... (Jazzeh's First Post)

Wow, I've never actually contributed to anyone else's blog before. I usually find it hard enough to manage my own. I'm willing to give it a shot, though... it might be more fun with someone else than it is alone, ya know? Also, it's funny how Zack and I went to hating each other in fifth grade (some silly fight over whether Sailor Moon or Voltron was better... lasted for about eight or nine years) to being pretty good friends, and now he's given me blog-posting privileges. I am honored.

I've been asked to write about a pretty amazing television program I ran across a few months ago, and honestly I couldn't be more thrilled to talk about the god of late-night programming: Cutlery Corner.


Basically, the three wonderful people pictured above have organized their own home shopping program for knives, swords, and other related objects. The quality of this show kind of reminds me of my childhood, when I'd drag out the old bulky camcorder and attempt to record my own commercials and TV shows. I don't think I can ever forget flipping through the channels at 2-3 in the morning and finding a middle-aged man attempting to describe a pocket knife, and then watching it fall to the floor as he tries to pick it up. Bless his heart.

I'm sure these people sell some good products. I know absolutely nothing about cutlery, but you can take a look at their site and see for yourself. However, the hosts make this show pure gold. A lot of internet browsers should be familiar with this video of a man failing pretty hard with a katana on live television, and a funny man coming out to demand "emergency surgery... in the studio". This funny man is Tom O'Dell, and I would love to have whatever he's smoking.


Tom seems to have a way of lighting up this show with his quirky sense of humor and overall awkwardness. A simple YouTube search of his name yields so many amazing moments from Cutlery Corner, but the one above is one of my favorites. (The audio isn't synced properly to the video, but it's worth watching anyhow.) How can you not enjoy it? IT'S THE GOLDEN FANTASY DRAGON!!! With spontaneous growling, impromptu kazoo performances and in-depth discussions about ninjas on his resumé, this man seriously needs to get his own talk show or something. The other man, Todd Boone, is pretty great too mostly due to his awkwardness on camera, but Tom is just made of win.

You can find Cutlery Corner's broadcast schedule here if you're at all interested in watching it, which I would highly recommend. You can also just stream it straight from their site whenever it's on. However, I implore you to avoid watching this if you're having trouble sleeping at night. You will never sleep. NEVER. It's just that great.

Catching the Black Plague

I know this has been beat to death over the last week or so, but I figure I would weigh in on it since I never made any claims to originality. Just in case you haven't seen it yet, here it is.



Yeah, this is the part of one of these blog where I’m supposed say something like “OMG did you hear that part where she told us the days of the week, lolz EPIC FAIL!” but I’ll refrain from that aside from saying that I can’t wait for her follow-up single where she teaches me to count from seven to ten.

See, I’m more concerned with this guest rap verse. It’s one of the most puzzling things I’ve heard in a long time.

R-B, Rebecca Black
So chillin' in the front seat (In the front seat)
In the back seat (In the back seat)
I'm drivin', cruisin' (Yeah, yeah)
Fast lanes, switchin' lanes
Wit' a car up on my side (Woo!)
(C'mon) Passin' by is a school bus in front of me
Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream
Check my time, it's Friday, it's a weekend
We gonna have fun, c'mon, c'mon, y'all

I don’t know why this part of the song in particular is the part I find myself thinking about the most. I think it’s just the complete free association of random crap from earlier parts of the song that gets me. He’s chilling in the front seat, ok, I’m following you. Wait, in the back seat? What’s in the back seat? The next bit seems to imply that he’s “drivin’, cruisin’” in the back seat. Isn’t that counterproductive, I would imagine the front seat would obscure your view of the road. I’m confused. Then he starts telling me about seeing a school bus. Huh? What? I hate this song!

Trending Topics

I’ve been using Twitter for some time now and I’ve begun to notice common themes among the site's trending topics. Too better assist in explaining these themes I've created a list that codifies them in an easy to understand manner. The below list is an illustration of what you’re likely to see in the trendy topics at any given time while using Twitter.

1.       A promoted tweet.

2.       Something about a recently released film or new episode of a popular television series.

3.       Something stereotypically black, which I’m probably too white to appreciate the humor in.

4.       A random, flash-in-the-pan joke.

5.       Something about a politician.

6.       Something about sports that makes no sense to me.

7.       Some kind of Internet activism that I’m too apathetic and cynical to take interest in.

8.       Something about a pop star that I’m too old to care about.

9.       Something else about sports that makes no sense to me.

10.   Something related to one of the other trending topics.

Berea College Laundry: Just because it’s free, doesn’t mean I don’t get to complain.

So one of my friends suggested I write a blog post about laundry…

See, I didn’t know this until a short while back, but apparently most colleges have coin operated laundry facilities. Fortunately my college doesn’t have such nonsense. However, while I get to keep my pocket change to waste on the copious amount of snack machines present on my campus, I’ve been forced to contend with a slew of other issues brought on by having to do laundry at Berea College.

I believe it all boils down to the fact that people here don’t really know how to do laundry and must constantly subject other peoples laundry to their own pathetic laundry habits, the end result leaves much to be desired on my end.

First off, if all the dryers are full and you need to dry your own laundry, you can wait. This is no excuse for you to throw my wet laundry on the nasty concrete floor of the laundry room just because you feel your clothes are more important than mine. I passed you on my way out, we both know that the 30 seconds between our last encounter wasn’t enough time for my clothes to dry, so don’t try to pull this crap with me. I know, I know! It’ll take in the upwards of 30 whole minutes for one of those dryers to be free! Your pseudo-frat boy lifestyle is fast paced and high stakes, what with Call of Duty: Black Ops having been released just last week, but trust me, you’ll survive.

Second, while in many aspects of your personal life you will find that taking similar items stored multiple locations and consolidating them into one location is a great idea, this is not to be done with the public dryers, especially when it’s being done with two completely different people’s laundry! There is nothing more nightmarish than trying to differentiate your own underwear from the underwear of a complete stranger. The sheer weight of being uncertain as to whose underwear you’re wearing is enough to drive a man to blog about proper public laundry facility etiquette…

Third, some things just can’t be cleaned. I get it, your great aunt who died ten years ago gave you those floral print bed sheets on her death bed, I’m sure they mean a lot to you, but when they wreak of mold after thorough cleaning and stink up the entirety of the laundry facilities it’s time to let go and move on. After all, are moldy, threadbare bed sheets really how you want to honor the memory of your dead great Aunt? Furthermore, I know our labor positions here at the college pay us very little and not very often, but seriously, don't shy away from buying some new crap when you need it.

Finally, have you seen this Batman shirt?

My girlfriend got me this shirt for our first Christmas together and it mysteriously went missing after doing my laundry a few weeks back. It should be basic commonsense not to take other peoples crap since most of you people are at least approaching your twenties and all, but I digress, my girlfriend and I no longer own matching Batman shirts.