I think I'll slice my way into this blog... (Jazzeh's First Post)

Wow, I've never actually contributed to anyone else's blog before. I usually find it hard enough to manage my own. I'm willing to give it a shot, though... it might be more fun with someone else than it is alone, ya know? Also, it's funny how Zack and I went to hating each other in fifth grade (some silly fight over whether Sailor Moon or Voltron was better... lasted for about eight or nine years) to being pretty good friends, and now he's given me blog-posting privileges. I am honored.

I've been asked to write about a pretty amazing television program I ran across a few months ago, and honestly I couldn't be more thrilled to talk about the god of late-night programming: Cutlery Corner.


Basically, the three wonderful people pictured above have organized their own home shopping program for knives, swords, and other related objects. The quality of this show kind of reminds me of my childhood, when I'd drag out the old bulky camcorder and attempt to record my own commercials and TV shows. I don't think I can ever forget flipping through the channels at 2-3 in the morning and finding a middle-aged man attempting to describe a pocket knife, and then watching it fall to the floor as he tries to pick it up. Bless his heart.

I'm sure these people sell some good products. I know absolutely nothing about cutlery, but you can take a look at their site and see for yourself. However, the hosts make this show pure gold. A lot of internet browsers should be familiar with this video of a man failing pretty hard with a katana on live television, and a funny man coming out to demand "emergency surgery... in the studio". This funny man is Tom O'Dell, and I would love to have whatever he's smoking.


Tom seems to have a way of lighting up this show with his quirky sense of humor and overall awkwardness. A simple YouTube search of his name yields so many amazing moments from Cutlery Corner, but the one above is one of my favorites. (The audio isn't synced properly to the video, but it's worth watching anyhow.) How can you not enjoy it? IT'S THE GOLDEN FANTASY DRAGON!!! With spontaneous growling, impromptu kazoo performances and in-depth discussions about ninjas on his resumé, this man seriously needs to get his own talk show or something. The other man, Todd Boone, is pretty great too mostly due to his awkwardness on camera, but Tom is just made of win.

You can find Cutlery Corner's broadcast schedule here if you're at all interested in watching it, which I would highly recommend. You can also just stream it straight from their site whenever it's on. However, I implore you to avoid watching this if you're having trouble sleeping at night. You will never sleep. NEVER. It's just that great.

Emo Poetry Showcase #1: Bus Stop

So about a year or so back a friend convinced me to check out the cesspool of a social networking site "MyYeabook" if I ever needed a few laughs at the expense of our society’s lowest common denominator. For those of you who are unaware MyYearbook is sort of like Myspace if Myspace dropped all pretenses that people don’t use their site to hook up.

So anyway, they have forums with a subsection titled “poems/stories.” Considering that the primary user base for this website is teenagers and vaguely literate adults trying to hook up with them, this section is a veritable goldmine for awful writing.

I found this poem upon my first time wandering into the site and shared it with a few friends for laughs, but now I want to share it with my readers (do I have those? Blogs have readers right?)
Without further ado, Bus Stop, by Ethan (AKA: “Material Toy”)

I woke up today not seeing your face.
I can’t help but touched where you use to lie.
Gently biting my lips trying not to cry.
I got out bed gently looked out the bedroom window gently sighing as my
tears felled down my face I couldn’t bear the memories.
I just wanted to get out this home of ours I want down stairs not wanting
to look into the living room but I did…
I noticed you left the box with my heart in it while the key was missing I
Can’t help but scream and run out of there.
I didn’t use the car to go to the bus I wanted to walk wanted feel the
coldness against my face as I cried.
I didn’t notice I was bleeding while I was walking to the bus like it
really didn’t matter.
I got to the bus sat down in the middle putting my head upon the window as
my tears failed down my face Once this bus start that where I start pouring
my heart out for you even my tears but end this bus ride I start acting
like I’m okay.
Forgetting all the hurt I feel I can’t be this anymore if I just look
at you’re face all tho I wanted to I miss you so much..

Just for the record...

I graduated from Berea College last week. I would like to say this will mean more frequent updates, but who am I kidding, it took me a week to make this one. That said, I’ll actually start working on something I teased months ago on twitter that will push this blog more towards the direction I originally intended it to go, and once I get enough of a back log of posts for it, I’ll start putting them up. I also have some other things planned as content. We'll see how this goes.

Do I even have any readers? Is anyone actually reading this? Comment below or some crap.